My Journey So Far

After watching Gabrielle Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass the other day, something really struck a chord with me… the idea that we all have a story. As Gabby began talking about this, I began to feel negative feelings coming up for me. In my mind I began thinking thoughts like “I don’t have a story” or “I do, but it’s not like I've struggled with addiction or a tragic loss in my life”… And then I realized, we don’t need to have experienced the things that other people have gone through to have a “story”. Our journey is unique to each and every one of us and that is what makes life so beautiful. We all have our own unique experiences; we all have different highs and lows. It is guaranteed that we have, or will all hit our personal “rock bottom” at some point, and that doesn't have to be the same as others. One thing I know for sure is that everyone who has experienced this low at some point has all felt the same feelings of fear, lack of love, despair, confusion and hopelessness.   

This is what inspired me to write this post today. I’m not usually one to put myself out there but in light of learning to grow and letting go of fear I felt compelled to…

Looking back, I was so young when I began my journey of self-discovery. I guess it all started when I was around sixteen. I’d recently spent two years stuck in a very dark place of extremely negative thoughts and depression due to feelings of worthlessness, heartbreak and fear. Despite having supportive and loving friends, I really hit my “rock-bottom” when I felt like I just didn't want to be here anymore. I started to actually believe there was no point in my existence and that I would never be “good enough” so why even bother. I've always struggled with confidence and feeling good in my own skin, so comparing myself to others and feeling small became a recurring habit . These kinds of beliefs and thoughts led me to attract many negative life situations and I was continuously feeling more and more worthless every day. I was highly controlled by fear and my ego.

Throughout my experiences I kept hearing some kind of inner voice telling me that there is something more out there and that things will get better, if only I keep going.

One weekend my friend invited me to a ‘Mind, Body and Soul’ day at a local fair and whilst wandering around the various different stalls, my friend spotted a book, ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ by Louise Hay, and pulled my attention to it. At the time I didn't have any money on me to buy it, so we left without and I gradually forgot about the book. A few weeks later it was my friend’s birthday, and as a present she received ‘You Can Heal Your Life’. After reading my friend highly recommended that I buy this book and read it immediately, claiming she was a ‘new woman’. 

I now know that the ‘Mind, Body and Spirit’ day was no coincidence, I was meant to go, I was meant to find that book, I was meant to change my life.

Following reading ‘You Can Heal Your Life’, I was hooked. I began practicing self-love and forgiveness and quickly developed a more positive mind-set. I bought a series of different self-help books, desperate to improve my situation and happiness. In the beginning, they all worked and every day I was feeling increasingly better. I had hope. I then started college and found it very hard to be myself around new people and make friends. I lacked confidence and self-esteem, and was very reserved around people I didn't know. To make this worse, I was put on a different lunch break to my best friend, we had different classes and I felt so alone.  

I did make one friend during my first year, but after a couple of months, she moved away, which resulted in me spending every lunch time alone in the library. This made me so unhappy and I started to soon slip back into a negative mind-set, and it ultimately left me wanting to quit college.

However, something told me to keep going and that it would get better. One day, I remembered about Louise Hay and her book, and decided that I would start being more grateful for all the people I had in my life and I would start to look for the good things happening every day. Over the summer, I spent time with my closest friends and my situation improved dramatically.

When my second year at college began, I found myself on the same lunch break as my best friend and we shared the same classes/timetable. She introduced me to her friends and before long; we all became a close friendship group. I no longer felt alone. I had focused on gratitude and making new friends, and I had received it. For my birthday, I received ‘The Power’ by Rhonda Byrne. This is a beautiful book displaying the secret of the most powerful force in the universe, and how we can all use it to achieve happiness and our deepest desires in life. I believe this is the point when I truly started to believe in the law of attraction and understood how I had been using it all along, to bring new friendships and more positive experiences into my life.

I began searching for guided meditations on YouTube and practicing positivity and gratitude every day. My life started to change before my eyes; my friendships flourished and I continued to attract more and more positive situations and experiences to myself, which included booking a holiday with friends and getting my first part-time job. Since then I have continued to use the law of attraction in my life to attract the perfect relationships, guidance, jobs, opportunities, and abundance.  

I believe I owe a huge part of my spiritual growth and happiness to Gabrielle Bernstein, whose books and practices I discovered at the age of eighteen, purely by chance looking for new ‘self-help’ material. I joined ‘Her Future’, a social networking site founded by Gabrielle to create a ‘digital sisterhood’. Her Future has helped me over the years to connect and be supported by other women on the same life path, all seeking for growth, love, peace and happiness. I think when we are seeking to choose a better life, it is important that we surround ourselves with positive, loving people, and Her Future provides a beautiful environment for that.

I actively seek positive and inspiring texts every day now, I know I am nowhere near the end of my journey but this is my story so far and I am ridiculously proud of how much I've changed in the past four or five years and how much I've grown towards my true self.   

I am now currently in the process of following my heart and true desires, working towards becoming a certified life coach and starting my own business.  

The main message of this story that I want to share with you is that it does get better and at any moment you have the power to completely change your life and circumstances. You are the master of your own reality and happiness, and please don’t forget that.

Everything we are looking for is within us. 

Feel free to share your own stories below, I'd love to hear them.